Senin, 12 Desember 2011

The Thirteen Type

Based on 6 Months of Psycological and Behavioral Research.

The Disappointed Dreamer. As children, these types probably spent a lot
of time alone. To entertain themselves they developed a powerful fantasy
life, fed by books and films and other kinds of popular culture. And as they
get older, it becomes increasingly difficult to reconcile their fantasy life
with reality, and so they are often disappointed by what they get. This is
particularly true in relationships. They have been dreaming of romantic heroes,
of danger and excitement, but what they have is lovers with human
frailties, the petty weaknesses of everyday life. As the years pass, they may
force themselves to compromise, because otherwise they would have to
spend their lives alone; but beneath the surface they are bitter and still hungering
for something grand and romantic.

You can recognize this type by the books they read and films they go to,
the way their ears prick up when told of the real-life adventures some people
manage to live out. In their clothes and home furnishings, a taste for
exuberant romance or drama will peek through. They are often trapped in
drab relationships, and little comments here and there will reveal their disappointment and inner tension.

These types make for excellent and satisfying victims. First, they usually
have a great deal of pent-up passion and energy, which you can release and
focus on yourself. They also have great imaginations and will respond to
anything vaguely mysterious or romantic that you offer them. All you need
do is disguise some of your less than exalted qualities and give them a part
of their dream. This could be the chance to live out their adventures or be
courted by a chivalrous soul. If you give them a part of what they want
they will imagine the rest. At all cost, do not let reality break the illusion
you are creating. One moment of pettiness and they will be gone, more
bitterly disappointed than ever.

The New Prude. A prude is someone who is excessively concerned with appearances, with what society considers appropriate and acceptable behavior. 
Prudes rigorously stay within the boundaries of correctness because more than anything they fear society's judgment. 

Seen in this light, prudery is just as prevalent as it always was.
The New Prude is excessively concerned with standards of goodness,
fairness, political sensitivity, tastefulness, etc. What marks the New Prude,
though, as well as the old one, is that deep down they are actually excited
and intrigued by guilty, transgressive pleasures. Frightened by this attraction,
they run in the opposite direction and become the most correct of all.
They tend to wear drab colors; they certainly never take fashion risks. They
can be very judgmental and critical of people who do take risks and are less
correct. They are also addicted to routine, which gives them a way to tamp
down their inner turmoil.

New Prudes are secretly oppressed by their correctness and long to
transgress.  The New Prude will often be most tempted by someone with a dangerous or naughty side. If you desire a New Prude, do not be taken in by their judgments of you or their criticisms. That is only a sign of how deeply you fascinate them; you are on their mind. You can often draw a New Prude into
a seduction, in fact, by giving them the chance to criticize you or even try
to reform you. Take nothing of what they say to heart, of course, but now
you have the perfect excuse to spend time with them—and New Prudes
can be seduced simply through being in contact with you. These types actually
make excellent and rewarding victims. Once you open them up and
get them to let go of their correctness, they are flooded with feelings and
energies. They may even overwhelm you. Perhaps they are in a relationship
with someone as drab as they themselves seem to be—do not be put off.
They are simply asleep, waiting to be awakened.

The Crushed Star. We all want attention, we all want to shine, but with
most of us these desires are fleeting and easily quieted. The problem with
Crushed Stars is that at one point in their lives they did find themselves the
center of attention—perhaps they were beautiful, charming and effervescent,
perhaps they were athletes, or had some other talent—but those days
are gone. They may seem to have accepted this, but the memory of having
once shone is hard to get over. In general, the appearance of wanting attention,
of trying to stand out, is not seen too kindly in polite society or in the
workplace. So to get along, Crushed Stars learn to tamp down their desires;
but failing to get the attention they feel they deserve, they also become resentful.
You can recognize Crushed Stars by certain unguarded moments:
they suddenly receive some attention in a social setting, and it makes them
glow; they mention their glory days, and there is a little glint in the eye; a
little wine in the system, and they become effervescent.

Seducing this type is simple: just make them the center of attention.
When you are with them, act as if they were stars and you were basking in
their glow. Get them to talk, particularly about themselves. In social situations, mute your own colors and let them look funny and radiant by comparison.
The reward of seducing Crushed Stars is that you stir up powerful emotions. They will feel intensely grateful to you for letting them shine. To whatever extent they had felt crushed and bottled up, the easing of that pain releases intensity and passion, all directed at you. 

The Conqueror. These types have an unusual amount of energy, which
they find difficult to control. They are always on the prowl for people to
conquer, obstacles to surmount. You will not always recognize Conquerors
by their exterior—they can seem a little shy in social situations and can
have a degree of reserve. Look not at their words or appearance but at their
actions, in work and in relationships. They love power, and by hook or by
crook they get it.

Conquerors tend to be emotional, but their emotion only comes out in
outbursts, when pushed. In matters of romance, the worst thing you can do
with them is lie down and make yourself easy prey; they may take advantage
of your weakness, but they will quickly discard you and leave you the
worse for wear. You want to give Conquerors a chance to be aggressive, to
overcome some resistance or obstacle, before letting them think they have
overwhelmed you. You want to give them a good chase. Being a little difficult
or moody, using coquetry, will often do the trick. Do not be intimidated
by their aggressiveness and energy—that is precisely what you can
turn to your advantage. To break them in, keep them charging back and
forth like a bull. Eventually they will grow weak and dependent, as
Napoleon became the slave of Josephine.

The Drama Queen. There are people who cannot do without some constant
drama in their lives—it is their way of deflecting boredom. The greatest
mistake you can make in seducing these Drama Queens is to come
offering stability and security. That will only make them run for the hills.
Most often, Drama Queens (and there are plenty of men in this category)
enjoy playing the victim. They want something to complain about, they
want pain. Pain is a source of pleasure for them. With this type, you have to
be willing and able to give them the mental rough treatment they desire.
That is the only way to seduce them in a deep manner. The moment you
turn too nice, they will find some reason to quarrel or get rid of you.

You will recognize Drama Queens by the number of people who have
hurt them, the tragedies and traumas that have befallen them. At the extreme,
they can be hopelessly selfish and anti-seductive, but most of them
are relatively harmless and will make fine victims if you can live with the
sturm und drang. If for some reason you want something long term with
this type, you will constantly have to inject drama into your relationship.
For some this can be an exciting challenge and a source for constantly renewing
the relationship. Generally, however, you should see an involvement
with a Drama Queen as something fleeting and a way to bring a little
drama into your own life.

The Professor. These types cannot get out of the trap of analyzing and
criticizing everything that crosses their path. Their minds are overdeveloped
and overstimulated. Even when they talk about love, it is with
great thought and analysis. Having developed their minds at the expense of
their bodies, many of them feel physically inferior and compensate by lording
their mental superiority over others. Their conversation is often wry or
ironic—you never quite know what they are saying, but you sense them
looking down on you. They would like to escape their mental prisons, they
would like pure physicality, without any analysis, but they cannot get there
on their own. Professor types sometimes engage in relationships with other
professor types, or with people they can treat as inferiors. But deep down
they long to be overwhelmed by someone with physical presence.

Professors can make excellent victims, for underneath their intellectual
strength lie gnawing insecurities. Make them feel like Don Juans,
to even the slightest degree, and they are your slaves. Many of them have a
masochistic streak that will come out once you stir their dormant senses.
You are offering an escape from the mind, so make it as complete as possible:
if you have intellectual tendencies yourself, hide them. They will only
stir your target's competitive juices and get their minds turning. Let your
Professors keep their sense of mental superiority; let them judge you. You
will know what they will try to hide: that you are the one in control, for
you are giving them what no one else can give them—physical stimulation.

The Beauty. From early on in life, the Beauty is gazed at by others. Their
desire to look at her is the source of her power, but also the source of much
unhappiness: she constantly worries that her powers are waning, that she
is no longer attracting attention. If she is honest with herself, she also
senses that being worshiped only for one's appearance is monotonous and
unsatisfying—and lonely. Many men are intimidated by beauty and prefer
to worship it from afar; others are drawn in, but not for the purpose of
conversation. The Beauty suffers from isolation.

Because she has so many lacks, the Beauty is relatively easy to seduce,
and if done right, you will have won not only a much prized catch but
someone who will grow dependent on what you provide. Most important
in this seduction is to validate those parts of the Beauty that no one else
appreciates—her intelligence (generally higher than people imagine), her
skills, her character. Of course you must worship her body—you cannot
stir up any insecurities in the one area in which she knows her strength, and
the strength on which she most depends—but you also must worship her
mind and soul. Intellectual stimulation will work well on the Beauty, distracting
her from her doubts and insecurities, and making it seem that you
value that side of her personality.

Because the Beauty is always being looked at, she tends to be passive.
Beneath her passivity, though, there often lies frustration: the Beauty would
love to be more active and to actually do some chasing of her own. A little
coquettishness can work well here: at some point in all your worshiping,
you might go a little cold, inviting her to come after you. Train her to be
more active and you will have an excellent victim. The only downside is
that her many insecurities require constant attention and care.

The Sensualist. What marks these types is not their love of pleasure
but their overactive senses. Sometimes they show this quality in their
appearance—their interest in fashion, color, style. But sometimes it is
more subtle: because they are so sensitive, they are often quite shy, and
they will shrink from standing out or being flamboyant. You will recognize
them by how responsive they are to their environment, how they
cannot stand a room without sunlight, are depressed by certain colors, or
excited by certain smells. They happen to live in a culture that deemphasizes
sensual experience (except perhaps for the sense of sight). And so
what the Sensualist lacks is precisely enough sensual experiences to appreciate
and relish.

The key to seducing them is to aim for their senses, to take them to
beautiful places, pay attention to detail, envelop them in spectacle, and of
course use plenty of physical lures. Sensualists, like animals, can be baited
with colors and smells. Appeal to as many senses as possible, keeping your
targets distracted and weak. Seductions of Sensualists are often easy and
quick, and you can use the same tactics again and again to keep them interested,
although it is wise to vary your sensual appeals somewhat, in kind if
not in quality. That is how Cleopatra worked on Mark Antony, an inveterate
Sensualist. These types make superb victims because they are relatively
docile if you give them what they want.

The Roué. These types have lived the good life and experienced many
pleasures. They probably have, or once had, a good deal of money to finance
their hedonistic lives. On the outside they tend to seem cynical and
jaded, but their worldliness often hides a sentimentality that they have
struggled to repress. Roués are consummate seducers, but there is one type
that can easily seduce them—the young and the innocent. As they get
older, they hanker after their lost youth; missing their long-lost innocence,
they begin to covet it in others.

If you should want to seduce them, you will probably have to be somewhat
young and to have retained at least the appearance of innocence. It is
easy to play this up—make a show of how little experience you have in the
world, how you still see things as a child. It is also good to seem to resist
their advances: Roués will think it lively and exciting to chase you. You can
even seem to dislike or distrust them—that will really spur them on. By being
the one who resists, you control the dynamic. And since you have the
youth that they are missing, you can maintain the upper hand and make
them fall deeply in love. They will often be susceptible to such a fall, because
they have tamped down their own romantic tendencies for so long
that when it bursts forth, they lose control. Never give in too early, and
never let your guard down—such types can be dangerous.

You must avoid:

The Moralizer. The character of the Moralizer, however, is rigid. These are people
who follow fixed ideas and try to make you bend to their standards. They
want to change you, to make you a better person, so they endlessly criticize
and judge—that is their pleasure in life. In truth, their moral ideas stem
from their own unhappiness, and mask their desire to dominate those
around them. Their inability to adapt and to enjoy makes them easy to recognize;
their mental rigidity may also be accompanied by a physical stiffness.
It is hard not to take their criticisms personally so it is better to avoid
their presence and their poisoned comments.

The Reactor. Reactors are far too sensitive, not to you but to their own
egos. They comb your every word and action for signs of a slight to their
vanity. If you strategically back off, as you sometimes must in seduction,
they will brood and lash out at you. They are prone to whining and complaining,
two very anti-seductive traits. Test them by telling a gentle joke or
story at their expense: we should all be able to laugh at ourselves a little, but
the Reactor cannot. You can read the resentment in their eyes. Erase any
reactive qualities in your own character—they unconsciously repel people.

The Vulgarian. Vulgarians are inattentive to the details that are so important
in seduction. You can see this in their personal appearance—their clothes are tasteless by any standard—and in their actions: they do not
know that it is sometimes better to control oneself and refuse to give in to
one's impulses. Vulgarians will blab, saying anything in public. They have
no sense of timing and are rarely in harmony with your tastes. Indiscretion
is a sure sign of the Vulgarian (talking to others of your affair, for example);
it may seem impulsive, but its real source is their radical selfishness, their inability
to see themselves as others see them. More than just avoiding Vulgarians,
you must make yourself their opposite—tact, style, and attention to
detail are all basic requirements of a seducer.

The Windbag. The most effective seductions are driven by looks, indirect
actions, physical lures. Words have a place, but too much talk will generally
break the spell, heightening surface differences and weighing things down.
People who talk a lot most often talk about themselves. They have never
acquired that inner voice that wonders, Am I boring you? To be a Windbag
is to have a deep-rooted selfishness. Never interrupt or argue with these
types—that only fuels their windbaggery. At all costs learn to control your
own tongue.